Sickness and Humility

I had a stomach bug yesterday and was lying on the couch later in the day. Everyone knows what it's like to be sick like this. I stared up at the ceiling drifting in and out of sleep, sips of water, saltine crackers, and simple prayers. Not many things can seem more lacking in purpose than such times of sickness but I find myself sitting here thankful for yesterday. I remember lying on the couch, repeating over and over to myself, "Jesus, I want you. Jesus, I want you. Jesus, I want you." I have to say my greatest peace yesterday didn't come later in the afternoon when my sickness faded away but rather it was in the midst of my sickness when my heart didn't want anything but the Lord.

It seems everyone has to endure in patience through physical pain. That's why James writes these humbling and encouraging words,

"Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and late rains. You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand."
James 5:7-8

I only find myself ever able to be patient when my treasure is the Lord and not the removal of the pain and the rain of earthly blessings. Unless my heart is established in the Lord and with him as the "want" of my heart above all else, I always seem to find myself impatient and restless at heart. I become a farmer who loses faith at a week without rain rather than patiently trusting the Lord and rejoicing that I am his child and that He is my inheritance.

Thank you Lord for my sickness yesterday and humbling my heart before you. As always, you redeem my physical suffering and use it to bring me closer to you. I am so glad that I want you more now and want more to bring glory to you.