There is no one to talk to. It is the evening. I have thoughts of past times with friends. Oh, how wonderful it was just to be driving at night with Gus sleeping in the passenger seat next to me. Silence except for the sound of the car. Darkness except for small lights, some that are red, some that are white, some that move, some that stand still. Now it is evening and I sit alone on my ship, feelings gaps in my soul. Accusations haunt me but I cling to my Savior.
O God! Be my defender! Be my Rock, my Fortress, my Strong Tower!
The music that plays in my mind is from the end of 'The Fellowship of the Ring'. It reminds me of when the fellowship was broken and Boromir had just died. It is the feeling of having to move on without someone you love. It is a spiritual pain, one that Jesus surely felt.
How great the pain of searing loss
the Father turns his face away
As wounds which mar the chosen one
bring many sons to glory.
What I love about that line is it tells of great loss but ends with great hope. I always cry at the end of 'The Fellowship of the Ring' because I know that feeling. The feeling of not wanting to move on but knowing you have to. And yet I love when Sam comes running and refuses to leave Frodo. A dark night is ahead but Frodo has a faithful friend.
Jesus, be my friend in this dark night. Hear my cry and be with my lonely heart.
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