My Wedding Ring

I often would look at my left hand and the empty place on my ring finger would fill my heart with longing. What is this longing? A longing to belong to someone? A longing to love and to be loved? I'm not quite sure exactly but whatever it is makes my heart quicken. One day a woman will place a ring on that finger but I feel like God spoke to me clearly a word of His own about this. When he spoke to me, He wanted me to know that before any woman would ever think of placing a ring on my finger, He placed his own ring on my finger, marking me as His. Though I can't see this ring, I can feel it on my finger, burning with love, reminding me of my identity and to whom I belong. It is the ring a lover gives in commitment, it is the ring a father puts on his child, and it is the ring that defines the very core of who I am. Thank you Lord for this very real image you have given me as a gift. Only you are truly worth belonging to and being loved by. Continue to teach me and show me that I am your beloved.

A Dark Morning

I'm sitting in the car in the parking lot by my ship. It's 6:30 in the morning. I just had this wonderful thought of people and angels worshipping in heaven right now. Even in my darkest hours this worship is going on. This fills me with joy and it would be a good thing if I would think on this more often. I look at the lights of the shipping cranes, lights from ships, lights from buildings and it is beautiful to look at them in light of heaven. All of these lights speak of importance and yet in truth they have none. It will all pass away in such a short time. The worshipping of God in heaven will never pass away though and the light that shines in heaven outshines these beyond compare.

A dark morning, yes, but when I close my eyes...

Traffic, A Blessing

I was stuck in traffic yesterday for probably two hours. I was tempted to get stressed out and I did a little but I had a thought as I sat there, not moving at all. I was surrouned by all these other cars, all stopped just like me and I imagined the thousand people stuck in this one traffic jam alone. Not to mention all the other traffic jams going on at that very second. Every single one of us sitting in our cars were likely reacting selfishly, if only in thought, to the fact that we are sitting in a car and not moving. Sitting in car and not moving. That's not such a bad predicament. It dawned on me in that moment the silliness of it all. meanwhile God was putting on a show in his creation. A rainbow cloud, beautiful trees, and the sun that was just beginning its evening descent. Thank you Lord, for slowing me down so I could actually appreciate it all. I look up and pull my car up three feet before stopping again. I look outside the window again at the trees, the sun, and the clouds. It's very beautiful and it makes me smile.

Autumn

Autumn is a lovely season. Things start to get a little colder and you might start getting the sniffles. You drive down the road and see leaves changing colors and all the while you have the holidays to look forward to, time with family and friends. Autumn is a time of year when I love most to have a good cd mix in my car, full of songs that make my heart swell with love for my Savior. Once upon a time I would send out cd mixes to all my friends, which certainly was an investment in padded envelopes and stamps, but in the end was well worth it. So after making some mediocre cd mixes over the past couple years, I finally have made one that I want to share with all you and I certainly hope blesses you during these beautiful autumn months.

Now you might be sitting in your chair right now thinking, "Man, I think I might want to get this cd." Many of you I will be contacting to get your mailing addresses but as is always the case, some people slip through cracks of my rapidly aging mind. If you want to make sure I don't forget about you, please send me a message on facebook or email me or whatever you do and let me know your mailing address.

The song I wrote out on the previous post, 'Come You Saints' is actually a preview of a cd mix that is in the test drive mode and is set to release in winter of 2007. These two cds will be leading up to my "multi-month deployment on my ship extravaganza" which will involve me going out on my ship for 4 to 6 months and floating around in the ocean. There will no birds chirping and flowers sprouting up. Summer will come and go with the wind. My life will be lost in the sleepy lull of the ocean waves as they pass by my ship. Until I am lost in this oblivion, I will be driving, listening to music, praising God as he is displayed in his creation, and thinking of all of you. I hope to hear from you guys and I hope the cds make the coming months all the more special :)

Come You Saints

Come you saints lift up your heads
To find the hand of grace
Has carried you from Satan's grasp
And brought you to this place
Where all designs of flesh will fail
And still His grace remain
For purposing His own good will
The Lord has come to save

Come you saints to hear the voice
That sings from Calvary
The song that drew our wayward hearts
And brought us to believe
It's grace the glorious Savior's song
He paid so dear to sing
The words He cries 'forgive, forgive'
Hold power to redeem

When the days of toil end
And comes our glorious King
All sin removed, our eyes behold
The Lamb in majesty
Then great will be their Christian song
The loudest there will be
An endless praise in sweet refrain
Of God's redeeming grace

:)

Remains of the Night

So I woke up this morning with thoughts on my mind other than Jesus. Not necessarily a surprise but this morning it was particularly revealing. The night before I had felt close to Jesus and I began wondering in the morning whether or not the idolatrous thoughts now on my mind had only but been in hiding the night before. I have a funny feeling that they were.
In a way, mornings like this can be helpful in that they show very clearly what needs to be purged from my life. And the start to this purging is inviting Jesus to be the center of my day and to rekindle my heart's affection for him. That's how today has started off. Throughout the day already though, I can feel my heart as it is so easily seduced. So Lord, please captivate my heart that you may command its full affection. May other thoughts, both big and small in my mind, sink away in light of you as you sit on the throne of my life.

Your Hands Are Cold

Ah yes...the line at the end of 'Pride and Prejudice' spoken by Elizabeth to Mr. Darcy.
My friend Katy thinks that this line is really dumb and random. I always felt inclined to defend the line even before I really understood it. I thought before that Elizabeth really didn't know what to say and that's all she could think of; something simple that showed she cared about him, maybe. Watching it recently though I kept noticing how the movie focused on Darcy's hand.
First, when he helps Elizabeth into the carriage near the beginning of the movie, you see a close-up afterwards of his hand quivering. The second time, I forget exactly where it is but I remember another close-up of his hand towards the end of the movie when he and Elizabeth keep running into each other. Then finally at the end of the movie when Elizabeth and Darcy are in the field and Darcy says, You have bewtiched me body and soul. Elizabeth takes his hand and stares down at it and says, Your hands are cold. The whole movie, Darcy's hands have been focused on and no doubt they are numb and cold and he is wondering at this strange new feeling of warmth that is making his hands quiver. After Elizabeth reaches out and tells him, Your hands are cold, the camera focused in on her hand on his and just over the hands the sun is shining, no doubt warming both of their hands.

Not random at all. Beautiful:)