With Melting Heart and Weeping Eyes

With melting heart and weeping eyes,
My guilty soul for mercy cries;
What shall I do, or whither flee,
To rid the vengeance due of me?
To rid the vengeance due of me?

Till late I saw no danger nigh,
I lived at ease nor feared to die;
Wrapped up in self-conceit and pride,
“I shall have peace at last,” I cried.
“I shall have peace at last,” I cried.

But when great God thy light divine,
Had shone on this dark soul of mine,
Then I beheld with trembling awe,
The terrors of Thy holy law.
The terrors of Thy holy law.

Should vengeance still my soul pursue,
Death and destruction are my due;
Yet mercy can my guilt forgive,
And bid this dying sinner live.
And bid this dying sinner live.

Does not Thy sacred word proclaim,
Salvation free in Jesus’ name?
To him I look and humbly cry,
“Lord, save a wretch condemned to die!”
“Lord, save this wretch condemned to die!”
“Lord, save this wretch condemned to die!”
-John Fawcett (1740-1817)

Good News Indeed

The gospel is good news indeed,
To sinners deep in debt;
The man who has no works to plead,
Will thankful be for it.

To know that when he’s nought to pay,
His debts are all discharged,
Will make him blooming look as May,
And set his soul at large.

How gladly does the prisoner hear,
What gospel has to tell!
‘Tis perfect love that casts out fear,
And brings him from his cell.

The man that feels his guilt abound,
And knows himself unclean,
Will find the gospel’s joyful sound,
Is welcome news to him.
-William Gadsby (1773-1884)

Yes! The man who has no works to plead, will thankful be for it! This hymn is amazing. Thank you William Gadsby for writing it! This resonated with my heart so much as I listened to it tonight here on the ship. It is not so much because it is what I have been experiencing lately but because it is what I have been needing to hear! Poor sinners deep in debt become like the blooming spring. Deserved prisoners are set free by perfect love. A man covered in the filth of sin and knows himself unclean is the one who hears most clearly the beautiful sound of the Gospel.

This is our welcome news. To know that we are unclean and guilty and to respond by seeking no refuge but in the grace bought for us at the cross.

Wes and RayRay

These are my roommates in Virginia Beach and also two of my favorite people ever. It's crazy to look back on when I first met Wes at the first church event I went to. He was standing in line to get food and I went to get in line to and started talking to him and told him some random story about a rubix cube. I started hanging out with people from our church shortly after and before long was spending late nights with Wes and Ray at Wes's old place. One night we talked until two in the morning and all three of us fell asleep in the middle of the conversation! Only to wake up at five in the morning and realize what had happened! We moved in together eventually but my restless heart couldn't help but set sail on the ocean blue to find myself. Well, I did end up finding myself out here and what I found was someone who misses being home! I am so thankful though for their friendship and can't wait to see them again.
Well, let's see. My favorite things about them. Wes likes a lot of the same music I do and Ray loves to make fun of it. Wes likes to make puzzles and also enjoys cooking bacon in the morning. Ray is easy to love and has a genuine and honest heart that comes out especially when he prays. He hates Count Chocula with a passion and is determined not eat the box of it that has been in his pantry for the past five months. He also claims to hate Spongebob Monopoly but I have a picture of him counting his money and smiling after people kept landing on his Krusty Krabs! Mostly though, I love the fact that I can do anything with them and have fun just being with them. They are truly a gift from God in my life.
Wes and Ray, I love you all and know that there are countless prayers being lifted up for you from somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

Dad

"When is dad gonna be home?", I would ask in a bored voice. This was a question that filled much of my childhood. I know that in these days not every boy has a father who comes home every night and so I count myself blessed to have a father. And not only do I have a father, but I have a father who loves the Lord, who took us to church to hear the truth of the Gospel, and who did devotions with us after dinner every night. How would I ever know how to be a father in the coming years if not for experiencing his example. My father is one of the most disciplined and also one of the funniest people that I know. The importance of discipline is becoming more clear to me in my life as I notice how closely it is related to the fruit that I see in his life. I used to think that discipline took all the fun out of things and that to take on acts of discipline was to forfeit joy. It turns out, years later, I am finding that discipline and obedience in the Lord actually brings joy every day and it's more joy than I would have ever imagined. Sure, it's not the shallow and fleeting joy of doing what I want and when I want, it's a deeper and fuller joy and it follows me through the whole day. I imagine there were many times growing up when my mom and dad probably wondering to themselves, "When is Pat going to get it?" Well, thank you for the prayers you prayed for me even back then because I finally understand.
My dad loves to scrapbook, work in the garage on whatever, to do crossword puzzles, cook on the grill, and watch Navy lacrosse! (Whooo! Go Navy!) Those are a few things that come to mind when I think of my dad. Thank you dad, for being such a good example who works hard and loves his family as best he can. Who knows where I would be today if it wasn't for you. Wherever it is, I wouldn't want to be there. Love you, Patrick

My Mother

A son's relationship with his mother is one of the most interesting there is. It's addressed directly in the Bible when Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." My relationship with my mother resembles that of any son who has no idea what he's doing with his life or how to prioritize his time and relationships in light of eternity. As a result, my relationship with my mother has fluctuated, the greatest separration forming during my adolescent years. The desire to "leave" surfaced suddenly and passionately but of course what I would hold fast to instead was likely to be questionable in its worthiness. As I have grown a little older, I have realized my mistake and have drawn closer to my mother. It's not easy, I won't lie. It's not easy because I'm sinful and have a rebellious nature. Thankfully, God's grace, bought for me at the cross, has power that extends to meet me in my need. I know I will never be the perfect son but I hope I at least will be able to give her more of the love that she deserves.
There are so many things that I love about her. She is fun and spunky, she can dance, she loves playing speed scrabble and boggle and is really good at them, she is good with money, and lastly, she's not afraid to tell me when I'm wrong! I know it's not always pleasant to be confronted but that's what true friends do. They tell you the truth about yourself and naturally, this is not always good. :)
Mom, thank you for all your constant love over the years even when my love was foolishly wavering. You have been faithful to me and I look forward to having you as a friend as I walk through the coming years.

Jack

Here is a fun picture I found of me and Jack from a couple years ago. Jack came to visit me at the Naval Academy my senior year and had lunch with me and my squad! He was excited to be back reliving his old days at the Academy eating in King Hall. Jack is fun and creative and always seems to keep our family times from falling into any kind of a lull. He claims not to enjoy playing games as a family but we are thankful when he does because he definitely makes them more fun and full of laughter. Although he does have a very fun side to his personality, he also has a deep side that comes out in his writing. If there is a gifted writer in our family, it is him. I only wish I could read more of his writing and poetry. He is also Navy helicopter pilot and lives in sunny San Diego. I think it's time that he comes back to the East Coast though! Seeing him once a year is hardly enough!

Jack, you are a wonderful older brother and I pray that we will be given more time together in the coming years. Whatever you end up doing with the rest of your life, I know that God will be faithful to lead you and guide you. I will be praying for you.

Here is a picture below of Jack wrestling with our little brother, Sam. Sam likes to talk big and Jack has never been one to hesitate to respond with much deserved physical humbling. :)

Hosanna!!

I hope you don't mind a brief interlude to my family posts. :)

And they brought the colt to Jesus and threw their cloaks on it, and he sat on it. And many spread their cloaks on the road, and others spread leafy branches that they had cut from the fields. And those who went before and those who followed were shouting, "Hosanna! Blessed is is he who comes in the name of the Lord! Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father David! Hosanna in the highest!
Mark 11:7-10

My friend let me borrow this Hillsong cd recently and on it is this song that I love called 'Hosanna'. It is such a beautiful song and God has been using it to draw my heart into worship over the past few days. After a while though, I was thinking what a beautiful word hosanna is and I had this feeling, "I want to know what it means!" So I looked up the meaning of the word which is pretty amazing. First though here are the lyrics to the song I have been singing recently.

I see the King of glory
Coming on the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest!

I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees!

Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity.

So I looked up the meaning to hosanna and it means, "Save now!" or "Save, I pray!" I had thought that crying out hosanna was just another way of saying "praise God", but "save now" gives it so much more meaning both within the context of scripture and when sung together as a church. I didn't realize the word was filled with such a spirit of brokenness and need for God. It reminds of what I read of John Piper's second message from New Attitude 2007. He says,

I asked Bob Kauflin if we could sing one line of a song after the message. Here’s the line…
O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to thee

"Debtor to Grace" may be written on my tombstone and it will be true forever. Past grace at the cross not only paid for my sin but it bought a reservoir of ocean-like grace flowing onto my in the future. What God wants from me is not payback but increasing debt.

How do you pay back God? You ask for more.

God is not glorified when we take our tiny buckets of righteousness up the mountain to his everlasting stream of righteousness. God is glorified when we take our empty buckets up the mountain to his overflowing stream. He’s glorified when take the full buckets down the mountain and pour them on others.

I am forever in debt before God and my cry is to remain there. I will keep singing "Hosanna! Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!" Save now Lord, I pray, as I walk from earth into eternity.