A Love For The Word: Hope and Feelings

My hope.

It determines my actions, the steps I take, the words I speak, who I love, how I love. These are important things, powerful things that seem to determine so much of my life's usefulness in bringing glory to God.

Where does my hope rest?

This is quite easy to see. All one would have to do is watch my life and see what has the most effect in determining my actions each day. And I think you would see quite quickly that there are two things in conflict with each other. There is a dramatic and painful battle taking place in my heart that sometimes feels like it is wrenching it apart. It is God's Word and my feelings. You see, I often face a dilemma. It happens everyday. A situation arises where God's Word promises me one thing and my feelings tell me another. I may go to pray and find myself not feeling God's closeness. Yesterday I may have prayed for an hour all the while feeling quite passionately but now I feel nothing. Look closely in that moment to see where my hope rests. Will my hope remain unchanged or will it wilt with the vanishing of my feelings? You see, my hope often rests with my feelings and so it rises and falls with them. My feelings are clouds that come and go and when my hope is tied to them, it does the same. But look when my hope is tied to the Word of God and His promises. For when has His Word ever changed? It only takes you deeper and deeper and proves itself more faithful to your heart the more that you read it! And so the clouds will continue to shift and change from storms to sunshine back to more storms and will where my hope continue to rest? I pray that it will rest more and more securely to the Word of God, His promises and His love displayed therein. Oh, that I may pray an hour even in the midst of opposing feelings. May my song of love and praise to the One who is worthy cry out in the midst of rain and hail even as it beats against my skin. Lord, grow in me a love for your Word and may my hope be tied to Jesus Christ and His promises.

"Let the Word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all widsom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."
Colossians 3:16-17

A Love For The Word and Running

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither."
Psalm 1:1-3

Where am I planted? Where do my roots extend when they long for water to satisfy? Do they extend into the Word and prayer with a longing to be closer to Jesus? I often find myself diving into a lot of other Christian books that talk a lot about the Word and it is as if I'm satisfied to get the nourishment of the Word indirectly. Now it would be one thing if I was constantly sinking deep roots into the Word, thirsting after it and then reading other books on the side. It is the opposite though; I sink my roots into other books which have a limited depth of soil and then drink from the Bible every so often on the side. I am honest in this. This is what I do. My prayers as of late have been for God to give me a love for the Word and I have been trying to do my part in simply reading it and sinking my roots into it.

I was running on the treadmill today and was thinking of its correlation with reading the Word. You see I have been running quite regularly for the past few weeks and pushing myself. There have been pain and longings to go back to sitting around drinking Coke and eating Starburst jellybeans but now that I have persevered through this first few weeks, there is such joy when I run now. There are times during the day when I just long to run! The quality and worth of running does not come close to the quality and worth of God's Word (not at all!) but I find such a similarity in the rewards of perseverance that come with reading the Word. Having just begun to really sink my roots into the Word, I feel like I am in the first weeks of getting into shape and it's hard sometimes! Sometimes I want to go back to the Coke and jellybeans of devotional books and things which are not the Word. I love such books but I want to be so careful that my roots are being drawn deeper and deeper into the Word above all else!

I'm praying that the Lord would give me deep roots in the Word and that I would long incessantly for the Word and closeness to Jesus therein. Oh, that like my growing love for running, there would be increasing times during the day when I just long to run to the Word and sink my roots in and drink! I want to be closer to Jesus and my heart is still learning to see Him living and breathing on every page! Why would I sink my main roots into shallow soil when the soil of Scripture is rich and deep and flows with the living water of heaven?

"O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
Psalm 63:1

Love & Timing

There are things in life that I wish would come sooner. Such things often come to the surface when I pray. Ha, those can sometimes be quite passionate prayers! Other times though I wish things would come later. So what really should I pray? First of all, I think the simple act of actually praying has done more to teach me about this than anything else. Recently, in the middle of praying, I was caught in this dilemma. It began to dawn on me that the best timing for anything is that which brings the most glory to Jesus Christ. So that has become my prayer and it's so awesome to pray with that in mind! It would look something likes this:

"Lord I want you to come back today! I just want to be with you finally and forever! But come back when it will bring the most glory to you for I know that is best and will bring me the most joy as well!"

That is how it should be too, I think. If we love God, such prayers overflow from our hearts and in His love for us, He brings about His glory to the maximum extent in our lives even when it's not what we planned or expected. It seems that once our love and joy gets intertwined with God's glory is when things start to get crazy! It takes us to whole other level of being satisfied in God on a daily basis. We can rejoice amidst trials and sunshine, torture and sweet times of fellowship, death and life, all because our love and joy are tied up in God's glory and do not depend on anything else. We can always rest assured that His timing is perfect in everything in our lives and we can rejoice out of love knowing that His glory is daily being revealed IN US! That is such a miracle that light shines into darkness, namely the darkness of our own hearts!

Come soon, Jesus! We eagerly wait for you! But come when you glory will shine the brightest! Lord, make that our prayer in every part of our lives.

Expressing Joy

How often do I get excited and it's merely about earthly things? I get excited about Chinese food, the fact that it's Friday, get-togethers with friends, a favorite ice cream. And all these things other people see me express joy in and it's such a beautiful and attractive joy. Joy at such times is contagious, is it not? So it became clear to me recently that there is a disconnect here. People see me expressing such ecstatic joy to the point of jumping up and down and singing over the fact that Chinese food has just arrived at my front door (General Tsao has a way of making me jump up and down). And then how do they see me when I interact with my Lord? I express joy about lesser things and find my joy in Christ is often inferior in its expression. My joy in Christ, joy at having been set free and forgiven, should be overflowing and pouring forth from my heart! And if it's not then I need to go to God in prayer and meditate on the salvation and inheritance he has bestowed upon me, both of which are filled with Him! I have a Lover, a Joy, a Friend, a Brother, a Father, an Anchor, and a Comforter all in Him! As I go to Him in prayer, it must not just be during my morning haze of waking up before work or my hurried utterances before claiming my much-desired sleep. My prayer must weave in and throughout my day, letting the joy imparted through my fellowship with God capture each moment. Oh, that my joy in Christ may grow and grow, welling up until its expression is unmatched and the light of Christ will shine through my joy for His glory.